The Challenge

Everyone knows by now that our so-called “elite” colleges and universities are merely hangouts for Socialists, Communists, Marxists, and other misfits of American life, who think they are “woke” but are actually asleep in some sort of collective dream world. Students and faculty alike are today completely out of touch with the practical expertise and knowledge necessary to build a new, greater America from the rubble they have created. This is truly a national security challenge.

The Answer

With great anticipation, and a prayer for divine guidance, we therefore propose the establishment of American Academy. Chaired by the President, who alone may propose motions for its approval, the Academy Board of Directors shall be represented by the President’s full Cabinet: the Secretaries of Commerce, Defense, Homeland Security, and the Treasury. Academy Faculty shall be selected by the President himself from his extended family and other candidates who have not been corrupted by university or college education. Academy Administration shall consist solely of a DEI Department, seeking and spreading Divine Educational Inspiration throughout American Academy programs.

Funding

American Academy shall be supported in part by tax revenue previously allocated to the Education Department, which is to be discontinued. Any shortfall shall be covered by special assessments on the bloated endowments of institutions of “higher” learning that are judged by the President to be especially “woke”. The Ivy League will naturally be targeted, but not exclusively. All colleges and universities will be investigated, and any un-American books and materials in their libraries will be destroyed, replaced with books approved by The Sons of the Mayflower and The Daughters of the American Insurrection, and funded by fines and lawsuits.